Tom Dumoulin described his life as a blank canvas after retiring from professional racing and deciding to divorce, revealing the emotions and pain he endured after realizing he no longer wanted to be a professional athlete.

Tom Dumoulin won the 2017 Giro d'Italia and was one of the most talented Grand Tour riders of his generation. However, he ended his career at just 31 years old and is now seeking a new life away from the sport.

"For the first time in my life, I can decide things for myself," Dumoulin said in a long, often emotional and very personal interview with the Dutch newspaper NRC (opens in new tab).

"I'm starting from a blank canvas and I have no idea where I'm going. I'd like to keep it that way. I feel good about it."

"I'm getting a divorce. I decided last week. I don't know if that's necessarily something that's going to be in the papers," he revealed. 'I always knew I didn't want to be the kind of cyclist who divorces after his career is over. But unfortunately that's what happened."

For now, Dumoulin has no interest in coaching or being involved in professional cycling. His love for the sport is still alive and he may return to it in the future, but for now he needs some time to himself.

He attended the World Championships in Australia with his family and sisters. He reveals that it was heartbreaking to watch the peloton pass by and realize that he would never race with them again, but it was also a liberating moment.

"It was my life for 11 years, and then it passed me by. I can't experience that excitement of running up the mountain at the front anymore. But I don't miss it at all at the moment," he insisted, refuting the notion that he could work for the Inter Marche team in some capacity.

"I've felt lonely at times in the last few years, but I haven't been unhappy this past year. I have not been depressed. I still feel the love for the bike. Maybe one day I'll become a coach, but I'm going to stay away from professional teams for a while."

After the World Championships, Dumoulin began a more personal journey of discovery, traveling to Fiji and Costa Rica for six weeks.

"I slept in hostels. Everyone traveled on their own. If I didn't want to talk to people, I moved on. I literally lived minute by minute."

"I am grateful and content with what cycling has taught me.

"The fire is out. I no longer have the need to push myself to the limit. I want to change in my life for the better, for myself. And for the people around me. I want to be more connected."

Dumoulin had flirted with retirement since moving from Team Sunweb to Jumbo Visma in 2020 and then away from the sport in early 2021. He appeared tired of the demands of the sport. That summer he returned to win a silver medal at the Tokyo Olympics, but his passion for life as a professional cyclist never really returned.

After abandoning the 2022 Giro d'Italia with a back injury, Dumoulin announced that he would retire at the end of the season, but on August 15 he abruptly put an end to his career.

Dumoulin admits that it was not an easy decision. But he learned from the process.

"Pulling the plug is not easy. It's everything I've worked for my whole life. Big dreams, ambition. Even if you don't think about it for a while, you don't stop," he said in an interview.

"So I don't regret having done it this long, even if I didn't always enjoy it. There was no other way. By going through hard times and difficult times, you can see things. If I had quit right away, I would have chosen a job now that I would have wanted to quit again four years later. "

Dumoulin retired after 11 seasons as a professional.

He is the son of a scholar and wanted to become a doctor, but gave up his studies when he discovered he was good at time trials with the small Parkhotel Valkenburg team, winning his first race in 2014 when he was already with the Giant-Shimano team.

He became a national hero by winning the 2017 Giro, and in 2018 he was on the podium of both the Giro d'Italia and the Tour de France. However, he crashed in the 2019 Giro, injuring his knee. As a result, he was forced to have surgery and rest, which reinforced his desire to find more in life.

"Top sports are very beautiful, but you also need to be a little crazy in the head to keep at it for as long as you do. I think almost all top athletes at the highest level have something wrong with them," he said, emphasizing the physical pain and fatigue caused by hard training, fueled by the expectations and demands of fans, sponsors, and teams.

"Looking back, I think I raced to show the world and myself how much I could do," Dumoulin said.

"But you have to ask yourself if that is a healthy way to live. Putting aside everything in my life was going too far for me. [Most of my teammates didn't get it. But part of my cycling life felt like a sacrifice to me. I thought: 'I'm doing this now so I can have a normal life later'"

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"Maybe I wasn't the best person to be a professional cyclist for 15 years. In fact, I'm not suited for it. That's why I walked away after 11 years."